Six Years Ago

I start by saying this is long but I do this not just to share but to document our journey as well. This may ramble at times but it is how I remember it.

As I sit here thinking about Meagan's 6th birthday tomorrow, I can't help but remember back to our time in Japan. I lived in Japan as a single a few years prior, however Danny and I returned in 2006 already 5 months pregnant and ready to begin a new chapter in our lives.

If you have ever traveled on a mission trip or out of the country for a short period of time, you are constantly in a state of awe and wonder with the sights, smells, people, traditions, etc. When you actually live in another country, that awe and wonder wears off at about the 5 month mark. Missionaries call it the honeymoon phase. There is a day you wake up and realize this is your new normal and you begin to just create a new life.

Let me first state thst I have never had a baby in an American hospital and to this day do not know how things are done here. My normal, in the context of pregnancy and birth in Japan, is what I experienced. Nothing seemed odd to me at the time. My doctor was actually an American man who married a Japanese national. He spoke fluent Japanese and in many ways was more Japanese than American. He had been there for 26 years and was excellent. We actually chose the Adventist Hospital because of the handful of English speaking doctors on staff. Note: remember this later in the story.

The birth of our Meagan six years ago today (Japan time) was one I will never forget. I remember every second of the experience because the labor lasted 29 hours. We were admitted two weeks prior to my due date because they said the baby was already 8 pounds and that was big enough. They did not want to deliver a 10 pound baby.

Difference #1 - Japanese women have babies that range from 4.5 to 6.5 pounds usually. Anything bigger than that and they do everything within their power to try to not do a C-section. Only 21% of Japanese babies are delivered by C-section.

Back to the story....I was put into a bed in a room with four other beds separted by curtains. It basically looks like the pre and post opp area at a US hospital. That is where I stayed until I was 9.5cm dialated. With 29 hours of labor....well, that was a long time. If you have seen the Friends episode where Jennifer Anniston is going to deliver and everybody and their dog comes in after her and leaves before her? That was me!

Every lady in that room heard everyone else's moaning and groaning. I also learned how to say "painful" in Japanese because numerous ladies who gave birth before me were saying it over and over. Itai! Itai! Yes, they kept the door to the delivery room open for every glorious noise.

I won't give the great details but I will tell you that I spent much of my time in my cubicle with my head in a barf bag while Danny held my hair back or held my hand so I could use him as a place for my teeth to anchor on to during the bad contractions. My friend Connie was there and was a great distraction from the pain at times. She also traded out with a Danny so each could have a break at times.

I was fed three meals a day while in labor(from contractions up until 7 cm dialated). Yep, you are probably saying right now...."they fed you?"
I knew no different and had no reference for comparison.

Difference #2: Japanese hospital food consists of a salad, soup, rice and yogurt for breakfast. Lunch and dinner included rice, jello, soup, and either tofu or some form of cabbage vegetable mix.

I actually enjoyed the food in Japan. You learn to live with what you have. You just really don't want to see your food again and again and again while in labor. Yep, food and petosin do not mix well with me.

Back to the story....since it took 29 hours, my delivery fell on a day when my doctor (who spoke English) was to be the keynote speaker at an event in Tokyo. I received a very nice non English speaking doctor. They brought in one nurse who knew enough English for me to know what was going to happen next.

Difference #3: you must wear slippers in the delivery area and of course they do not fit American feet so Danny walked around with his heels hanging off the back.

Difference#4: Japanese hospitals do not have cafeterias, coffee kiosks, or gift shops. It is plain a simply a hospital with waiting areas that have plastic chairs, a vending machine and Japanese television.

When you are 9.5cm dilated they wheel you from your cubicle about two bed lengths down to the delivery room. The door stays open as numerous people come in and out. My friend Connie and my husband were in the room and they spent much of the time laughing. From Danny complaining that his feet hurt with the little slippers they made him wear to the nurse asking if I needed anything to drink and Danny responding with, "I don't know about her but I could use a drink!"... It is all humorous now but Connie helped to keep my husband calm and set him straight when he mentioned how he was feeling. LOL

Between the pushing, the Japanese language flying around the room, and my husband's humor, it was not dull.

The one thing I will never forget is when the doctor signaled for Danny to watch as Meagan came out. Danny's immediate response was "ooohh, that is gonna hurt tomorrow!"

Again, I won't give all the details but my recovery took a few days so I was glad to find out that Japanese hospitals keep moms post birth for a minimum of 3 days. They want you to rest and bond with your baby.

Side note....Meagan was quite a hit in the nursery. Every morning, the chimes would ring at 10am and the curtains to the window nursery would open. All visitors got to experience rows and rows of black hair and brown eyed babies. However, tucked in the midst of all these identical looking babies was our blonde haired blues eyed little girl.

That day started a journey that has been a complete joy for us as parents. We look forward to the journey continuing.

Starting The Year Off With A Twist

A new year brings excitement and anticipation for me. I always look forward to starting over and setting new goals for the year.

For those who know our family, know that our life is anything from ordinary. I always say God likes to shake things up from time to time. Many of you also know that we strive hard to listen to what God is trying to say through situations and circumstances that come our way.

After being uprooted twice in less than 4 years, Danny and I always wonder what God has in store and try to take it in stride. I think we do a pretty good job but I would be lying if I didn't have a good talking to God about things from time to time.

Friday, January 4th "our" view of the year changed. I was informed by my boss that I would be cut to part time hours due to a couple of circumtances (one being ObamaCare). I will leave my verbalized feelings for THAT to another time.

I was shocked, nervous and a bit excited all at once. I absolutely love my job but the thought of having more time for my girls was exciting. That thought quickly faded with the realization that my income was just cut in half and.....Houston, we have a problem!

I have spent the last 5 days processing, praying, researching, praying, chatting with family, and praying. The only thing I do know is there is a reason for everything. Absolutely everything. There are no accidents with God and He is in complete control.

I do know that God increased Danny's salary at just the right time. I do know that an extra trucking run came about totally out of the blue on Tuesday. I do know that an extra unexpected paycheck showed up in our account this week(vacation pay the company failed to pay Danny for earlier). I know that all of this is His perfect timing.

So, I know this may sound weird but, I am a bit excited to see where this journey takes us. The nervousness creeps back in but I am choosing to back away from that as much as possible.

What's the next step? We are not sure yet but I know He knows.

Let's Wrap This Up!

2012 was a whirlwind year for our family. I haven't posted since July, so I should catch everyone up since I know everyone is waiting on pins and needles to hear what happens next for the Toups' family.


I will start where I left off. We are back down to being a two cat family which is fine by me. We found stray momma cat, Crystal, a new home. She was not working out. A very set in her ways 10 year old cat and a hissy and moody 2 year old cat was not working for me. The other two kittens in the litter found homes as well.


Late July also brought with it a change in jobs for Danny. He was hired on by Tri-Mac Transportation to haul chemicals across the U.S. He hauls it all so I usually do not ask because sometimes it is better not knowing the liquid until after the load is complete. His pay almost immediately doubled which has been a huge blessing as we are still on the Dave Ramsey track to be debt free.


For those of you paying attention, our goal was December of this year. We are closer but had a few minor setbacks. Come to find out dental work is NOT cheap so we halted our debt snowball to pay for the fixing of two mouths in the family. We will be debt free this year, Lord willing!


Life has been pretty routine with Danny on the road for about 8-10 days at a time. In late October he was asked to run a dedicated route to Blackie, Alberta Canada. Five days up and 4-5 days back with a couple days R&R then repeat. The girls and I are in a strong routine which makes life a bit simpler (ha!).


Summer consisted of day camp, a couple of trips to the beach, lots of splash pads around the city, and lots of time at our neighborhood pool. No out of town trips just yet.


Meagan started Kindergarten in September and this momma almost lost it dropping her off on the first day. Well....I actually did lose it but I was hidden well with all the other Kindergarten parents losing it as well. It has been amazing to see the maturity in Meagan once real school started for her. She still has her moments but I actually see a little lady blossoming.


Emily started back at her preschool four days a week. She is our little spit fire. There is not a week that goes by that a stranger does not say to me (with a giggle), "you have your hands full don't you!". Emily is a black and white kind of girl. She questions everything, hugs everybody, will talk to strangers all day, loves to have tasks and complete them, and throw the best Emmy nominated fit/tantrum out of the blue. We do have our hands full but she is a complete blessing.


The Fall brought just a bunch of busy to our family. Work at Chick-Fil-A ramped up for me, the girls were involved with swimming every week, more birthday parties than I can count, and reading homework every night for our budding schooler. Working full time with two little ones and a husband on the road is NOT easy but somehow it happens.


The holidays got here way to fast and I was not prepared. I look at the Chrismtas season through two lenses. My Chick-fil-A lens - with a check list including decorating two stores, hosting Santa at two stores on separate nights, and visiting all 75 fantastic schools in our trade area who love our nugget meals for school parties and all want them on the same day. My family lens this year seemed blurry. I packed way too much into the month of December wanting to make sure my kids had great memories.

First, I volunteered to chair the Winter Wonderland event at Meagan's school complete with dinner, Santa pictures, a bounce house, cookie decorating, and crafts. It was not hard to coordinate and delegate but it was too much when combined with work and home life. The event was a huge success! Second was Christmas shopping! I didn't step foot in a retail store this year except Target and Academy one time each. I did all of my shopping online mostly out of necessity but also because I do not like crowds or the mall.


Third, we hosted the Toups' annual Christmas party this year complete with Shrimp Gumbo and Boudin. It was a huge success with 10 hours of deep cleaning the house and bailing on our Sunday School Class party to get it all done. We never play hookie from church but I am not ashamed to say we did the Sunday after the party. Danny pulled out for work at 2am the morning after the party and I felt like I had been hit by a freight train after the party and a 50 hour work week.


As is life with two little ones, I have no social life (or very little). I say that not for pity but to highlight the Joshua House adult class at Kingsland Baptist Church. I have been going consistently for a little over 3 years now and am now starting to make deeper connections. This class would go to the moon and back for anyone and I have seen them do it time and time again. Even when they don't know it, they have been a support. I so look forward to Sundays for "me" time at church - a time for me to get recharged, laugh a little, have a semi deep conversation, etc.


Why do I tell you all this in detail? I am not assuming most of you want to know all of this but I do it first to keep a written memory of 2012 which included a move, a new job for Danny, Meagan starting Kindergarten, the loss of Meagan's first two teeth, and lots and lots of hugs, giggles, screams, tears, and wanting to pull my hair out. I wouldn't have it any other way!


Let's see what 2013 brings.....

CATS!!!!!!

Cats! Lots of cats! We went from being a family with one cat to a family with 5 cats temporarily. If you know me then you know I am a sucker for animals. Danny and I have rescued over 25 animals since we got married. Most have been dogs. But, now, it is CATS! I have to admit, we have too many and two must go! Our sweet Gumbo is almost 10 years and we decided to add a cat to our family to give her a companion. We added 8 week old Cali the Calico kitten. She was our rescue at one day old when momma cat proceeded to give birth in our backyard and walk off (or so we thought). I will come back to that comment. Our Vet Tech bottle fed her and got her to a healthy age and then we took over. Two days into our new happy family, momma cat shows back up at our doorstep begging for food. Sidebar....Did I forget to mention we had been feeding momma cat for about 3 weeks before she gave birth(didn't know she was pregnant)? Our goal there was to earn her trust to get her Off the street. She would come in and eat in our kitchen and immediately want back out. She was very moody and took a long time for her to warm up to us. Bck to the story....two days after bringing our sweet Cali home, momma cat shows up for her evening meal and has a kitten in tow. Oddly enough the kitten is the same size as our little Cali. After our shock wears off, they both come in, eat and leave. The next morning, momma cat shows up with her baby plus an additional bundle of joy! Are you keeping count? Where were all these fur balls all this time? In a coinki dink, our neighbor was tearing down a shed in his backyard the same day the kittens appeared. They lost their shelter and momma brought them to us. At the very next feeding time, we let them in on the kitchen floor to eat. Momma proceeded to eat, sit down, and not want to leave! Her usual bit of eat and bolt was no more. We knew at that point she had no more kittens outside. Fast forward to today. The kittens are 12 weeks old and two WILL be finding new homes in the very near future. As for momma cat. She has turned out to be the calmest and laziest cat ever. So our family now consists of Our sweet Gumbo, 12 week old Cali, and Crytal the 2 year old who has decided we are her forever family. I am sure this will not be our last animal adventure. I truly believe, they put out a signal to animals everywhere that a sucker lives in our house and they will not be turned away. Oh, and if you want to know how to keep a house clean and smelling fresh with 5 cats, I am the queen of that department. Hopefully my next post will be written with two less curries pouncing around my living room.

Just Good or Absolutely Great!

I love my job! I don't know if most people can say that these days. My boss is fantastic, I get to use my creativity, marketing and speaking skills, and I get to build relationships with Raving Fans of Chick-fil-A everyday. He is a constant encouragement, source of knowledge, has a listening ear, and challenges me at every turn. I have spent the last couple of weeks mentoring and encouraging a friend in the marketing industry. She is good at what she does, and could be great, but is held back by a boss who sees her as just another employee. What I mean by that is that I go to work everyday with a couple of goals in mind. Represent the Chick-fil-A name well and lift my boss up by doing the absolute best job I know how to do. My friend desires that as well but is being pushed down with every idea or action. She feels frustrated, deflated, and stuck. Why do I bring this up? I was thinking, how many times do I (intentionally or unintentionally) limit God in His ability? Sounds like a strange question because God's ability is endless and perfect. How many times does He tell me something or put something in my path to move me His direction and I don't see God for who He really is? In the ordinary day to day life, do I make Him ordinary? Is He "just God"? I think life has a way of detouring God's plan for us at times. He desires to do great things in and through us but we miss the blessings because we are like that boss....we hold God back with what He wants to do. We get "good" but we could have gotten "great"!

Up To Speed

When I was a kid, time never moved fast enough. An hour in an English Lit. class felt like 4 hours, waiting for a date to pick me up felt like an eternity, and parents could not get home quick enough when babysitting. I find it interesting that time now seems to move at lightning speed. I remember almost every detail of the last two Christmases because they seemed like they were just a few months apart. The litle girl who I rocked and sang to just a year ago is now 3, and it seems like yesterday that our beloved BoBo died...and it's been almost two years.

What is it with time? I am just as excited about upcoming events as I was as a kid yet they seem to be over in the blink of an eye.

2012 is lining up to be a year of milestones for my family. Meagan will start Kindergarten in the Fall, Danny will prayerfully transition into a new company in late summer/ early Fall, we will be moving into a house in April, and Emily will be fully potty trained leaving our house diaper free for the first time in five years. With time moving so quickly, I wonder if I will remember the details of these events.

What is it about time? There is so much of it yet not enough. I am working hard this year to revel in the small moments and journal them through picture and words so I can capture the details that will be forgotten otherwise. I am blessed with every second of life God gives me and I would love for it to slow down so I can enjoy it even more.

Living With An Extremely Strong Willed Child

Don't get me wrong, our first child (Meagan) is strong willed, a leader, and extremely stubborn at times. How can that be magnified? How can that be topped?

Enter child #2.....Emily. Any idea must be her idea.....or at least she must think it is her idea. She tells you exactly how she is feeling all the time. You never have to wonder what she is thinking or feeling. Her facial expressions give it away every time. She is not good with change and has to be given warning when things are going to be different. This helps to prevent a nuclear meltdown of catastrophic proportions.

With all of this, we have two of the most amazing kids ever. Our two girls may be challenging at times but We love the fact that God designed them with extreme leader qualities, the desire to be different than other kids, and the ability to express themselves.

I remember something an old friend said when her first child was born 10 years ago. She said, "My job is to break the qualities that need reshaping without breaking his spirit."

This is soooo true. Our job is to allow God to work on her Spirit and for us to encourage it while molding and sometimes reshaping her.

No schooling prepares you for raising kids so I agree that it is the hardest job EVER. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it but it is still the hardest job EVER!

Oh and did I fail to mention that I am strong willed as well? Ha ha....that makes my job even harder. :)

So for all of you with strong willed kids, hang in there. For all of you who are strong willed kids, young adults, or fully grown....I would go hug the neck of your parents, guardian, or who ever raised you. Most likely you challenged them numerous times, gave them a few more grey hairs, and added a few wrinkles to their aging face. Yes, we can blame part of the aging process on strong willed children!

So this strong willed woman will go back to raising our two strong willed girls and love every minute of it. :)